Ensinglepedia: But First,Wait

“Wait” is only a simple four-letter word, yet there are things with longer words that are way more fun to be involved in. Like “celebrate,” for example.

We’ll all rather celebrate having what we are waiting for, than wait for it. That’s more fun.

Waiting’s not always fun. Waiting can be hard, sometimes, frustrating.

We want what we want and we want it right away.

But sometimes, God makes us wait. Like Abraham, Joseph, David, Lazarus’ sisters…

It’s like He says, “I hear you, but first, wait.”

*******

You planned to be married by 25, that was 7 years ago.

“Someone must not have taken your order correctly,” because instead of being a bride yourself, you’ve always been a bridesmaid. All your friends are married.

People keep asking you the question you wish you could answer for yourself – when will you get married?

*******

“Timing is the Father’s business”, the bible says (Acts 1:7); trusting the Father is ours.

Let God do His thing, let Him perfect that which concerns you.

It’s not late, it’s just been planned for later.

Worrying about “when” will not make God hurry, it will only make us, well, worried. Trusting God, on the other hand -as our source- gives us rest because we know that He gives only good gifts to His children and no good thing will He withhold from them.

So, if singleness is His gift to us in this season of our lives, then we must trust that it’s for our good and for His glory; and learn to enjoy it while it lasts.

And can I tell you? If you’ve chosen to wait on God – doing what He says, how He says and when He says – even though you’d rather have it right away, I’m sure He’s proud of you. He’s probably looking down at you saying, “I’m pleased that she’s choosing to do things My way.”

Choosing to do things God’s way, may mean that you don’t get what you want right away, but it’s the right way.

Knowing that God is pleased with you should keep going, let His joy be your strength. Resolve to do things God’s way, no matter how long it takes; it pays in the long run.

When it gets hard, like it does sometimes, remember;

• Who you are waiting on – God.
• That He who has promised is faithful. (Hebrews 10:23)
• It’s good to wait on God. (Lamentations 3:26)
• You’re not wasting time, God is working. (Isaiah 64:4)
• God is good to those who wait for Him. (Lamentations 3:25)
• His grace is available and sufficient. (2 Corinthians 12:9)
• You won’t regret waiting on Him. (Isaiah 49:23b)

The weight of what’s coming is worth the wait.

I pray you never have to say, “I wish I’d waited”, because you know what, waiting may be hard but wishing you waited is harder.

Be encouraged.

Ready, Set… Wait?

I was listening to a message yesterday and this though crossed my mind;

You are probably still waiting because, though you may be ready, but there may be other things that also need to be ready, that aren’t.

I just wrote it down and kinda forgot about it.

This morning, on my way to work, we were at an intersection, waiting  for the traffic light to turn green, when it did, the traffic warden there, signaled to us to not move because there was a traffic jam on the side we were to go, so even if we moved, we’d just be stuck and may end up blocking other cars that can freely move to other lanes.

Even though the light was green, we had to wait for the other side to be a bit free. Drivers at the back kept honking, perhaps because they could see the green light but didn’t understand why we were not moving…

One car beside the bus I was in, wouldn’t stop honking, I turned and gave him the look like, can’t you see the front, then the thought came to my mind again.

Sometimes, you are ready but other things that need to be ready to make your ride smooth, aren’t, so you may need to wait a little more.

You can’t see the front (what lies ahead) but God can, so trust Him.

Dear you who feels ready but still waiting, be encouraged.

It’s About Staying In Tune, Not Immune

The other day, I cried real tears because I couldn’t fix my gas cylinder after refilling it and I was very hungry. (Don’t laugh)

“If I had a husband now, shey he would have helped me”, I would mutter, as I cried, then I started praying (it’s something I’ve learned to default to when I get frustrated). I was so engrossed in the pity party I had thrown  for myself, I didn’t even realize it had somehow been fixed, I ended up having a good laugh at myself. Sigh.

I bet all of us can tell stories of times we didn’t (don’t) particularly enjoy being single.

I love to encourage singles not because I’m immune to the challenges we singles sometimes face, but by God’s grace, I’m learning to be in tune with God’s plan for me. It’s more of a comforting with the comfort with which I’m comforted kinda thing.

As someone rightly said, “sometimes we make plans, sometimes we surrender to plans.”

What plans have you made that you need to surrender?

Where do you need to get in tune with God and surrender to His plans?

Who are you looking at and feel your life should be like theirs, that you are not taking hold of the life God has for you?

Perhaps, it’s time you stop comparing your life with others and start cooperating with God and His plans for you. He says, He will perfect all that concerns you, not all that concerns someone else that you are concerning yourself with.

Just because it happened for someone at a particular time, doesn’t mean it has to happen for you at that time or it won’t happen for you after that time.

Their timeline is not your deadline.

Not all of us will have our lives all figured out at 30.

Not all of us will get married at 25.

Not all of us will be done having kids at 32.

Not all of us would have started the business or be working our dream jobs at 28.

Not all of us will (insert something you desire and thought would have happened by now.)

Just because it hasn’t happened, doesn’t mean it won’t happen.

Please understand this, that something you desire, happens for someone else at a particular time, doesn’t mean it expires for you at that time, in other words, that someone got married (for example) at 25, doesn’t mean marriage expires  for you at 25. It doesn’t.

It will happen when God says it will happen and you will be fine.

Yes, it gets hard and there are times we get weak, but know that;

It’s okay to have a  Father-please-remove-this-cup-from-me moment, but I pray you always get to the nevertheless-not-my-will-but-Yours point and keep going.

It’s not about getting immune to what or how you feel, it’s about staying in tune with God regardless, depending, relying and trusting Him, knowing that His strength is made perfect in your weakness and that His grace is available and sufficient.

Be encouraged.

9 Bad Reasons To Get Married

I know you (really) want to get married, you and me both girl, you and me both but for some reason it just hasn’t happened yet and it’s not like you can just go grab you a husband from a store or log in somewhere and order, expecting a delivery within 7 days, at least then, you’d have an answer for the when-questions.

Sometimes, all we can do, (usually after we’ve done everything else), is to trust God and wait on Him.

I also know that there are a lot of people who want you to get married, so much so, that it’s like they can’t wait for your waiting on God, they don’t get it, they keep giving you the you-should-be-married-by-now look. Perhaps, there are even times when you are tempted to go the lay-with-Hagar route, you know, take matters into your hands, just marry anybody already, can I get a witness?

I know there’s the pressure, the questions, the set ups from those in the there’s-this-guy-I-know department, the advices (mostly unsolicited), the expectations, the aunties ( I believe single ladies have more aunties than anyone else, don’t you agree?), the reminders- from social media and almost everywhere you turn, everyone but you seems paired up, it’s like Noah’s ark out there and it’s understandably, easy to feel left out and perhaps, want to get married at all costs, but making a decision (as important as who to marry) under that condition, can cost you.

No matter how much the pressure may be, always consider it too expensive, you can’t afford to get married for the wrong reasons.

Marriage is a blessing from God (as is singleness). To be married is good and desirable but these 9 reasons below are not great reasons to (want to) get married;

• Everyone Else Is / All Your Friends Have

God has unique plans for each of our lives, no man’s life is the template for another and we all soon come to learn that there isn’t a one for all timetable for things to happen in our lives. Besides, scripture encourages us not to compare ourselves with others. Stop looking at the time it happened for someone else as an expiration date for it happening for you, because it. is. not.

• You Feel You’re Running Out Of Time 

Well, not as long as you are walking with God. Remember Abraham? Girl, your Father, God, is in charge. It’s not over until He says so. Better to seem to be running out of time, than it not happening at the right time, as Lysa TerKeurst rightly says, “God loves us too much to answer our prayers at any other time than the right time”. Picture this, a fruit you really like, for example. Have you ever had it when it was unripe? I bet it’s sweeter, better and more enjoyable when it’s ripe, yea? Now, was it a fruit when it was unripe? Yes, but was it ready to be eaten? No, and what did it take for it to be ready? Time. See? Things are sweeter, better, and more enjoyable at the right time.  Trust God. All things are working together for your good.

• You Think You’re Old Enough

Marriage requires maturity, old enough doesn’t necessarily mean grown enough, to thyself be true.

• You Are Tired Of Being Single

Don’t do it because you are tired, do it because you are ready, and don’t just say you are ready because you are tired either.

Stop thinking you can only earn joy when you get to where you want to be, learn to enjoy where you are, where God has you.

• You Think You May Not Get Another Chance

If you are unsettled about them, please don’t settle with them and trust me, as long as you are doing it God’s way, better’s never behind, but just ahead. “It’s better to be on the shelf than in the wrong cupboard.”

• You Don’t Want To Be Left Out

Darling, you were secretly, uniquely, fearfully and wonderfully made. Your life doesn’t have to look like everyone else for to it be considered beautiful and successful, it doesn’t have to look like everyone else for it to be what God wants it to be and there’s nothing quite as beautiful and truly successful as being where God wants you be. You are not being left out, you are wanting their life when you should be living yours. No matter how wonderful you think someone else life is, your life isn’t any less wonderful.

• To Prove A Point

Okay so, after you rush into a marriage you know is clearly wrong for you, just to prove that nothing is wrong with you, what happens?

• To Get It Checked Off Your Life’s To-do List

If you are in a rush to get married, you could end up making a rash decision that could result in harsh consequences.

• You’ re Done With School And That’s Naturally ‘Societal-ly’ The Next Thing To Do

Well, it doesn’t have to be like that. Don’t put yourself under unnecessary pressure, remember what we said about pressure earlier, it’s too expensive…

There, so let’s talk. Did any resonate, do you agree with 9 of them, what would you add (or not)? Please share your thoughts in the comments below, thank you.

I pray that God will help us to seek His will in all our ways and help us to trust Him to direct us, in Jesus’ name, amen.

Image credit: Pexels.com

31 Random Thoughts As I Turn 31

Hi there,

Birthday girl here.

It’s my birthday and to celebrate here, I’m sharing some thoughts that’ll probably make you go hmmm, huh or perhaps, hahaha…

Here we go;

1. 1. 1. God is good, His plans are better, He knows best. Trust Him.
      2. God’s going to do what He’s going to do, no one or thing can thwart His plans and purpose.
      3. You can totally trust God, He loves you and He’s got your best interest at heart.
      4. Yes, God loves you but He also wants you to grow up.
      5. You can’t have a godly relationship without having a relationship with God.
      6. Relationships don’t make you happy, happy people make happy relationships.
      7. “The one” is human just like you.
      8. You want to submit to a man who submits to God.
      9. God heals the brokenhearted. Yes, broken hearts heal, mine did.
      10. If life had a remote control, I bet singleness won’t be its pause button.
      11. You don’t have to have a life partner to enjoy your life, you just need to partner with “The Life”.
      12. It matters to make Jesus the heart of the matter in matters of the heart.
      13. Your mistakes do not define you, don’t let them confine you.
      14. To thyself be loving.
      15. Waiting on God is never a waste of time.
      16. It’s okay if your life looks different from other people, even if they are the same sex or the same age as you, know that no matter how wonderful someone’s life looks to you because of what they have that you don’t or what they are doing that you’re not, your life isn’t any less wonderful.
      17. You don’t have to have it all figured out, you couldn’t if you tried but what you can do and should do, is trust God, He has it all figured out.
      18. Rest but don’t quit.
      19. Cast, not carry. Cast your cares.
      20. Lose control to God.
      21. I’ll never understand people who argue with me that I’m not single. I say I’m single, you say I’m not, is it your single?
      22. Two things are hard for a girl; Letting shoes that don’t fit go and listening to herself when she can tell a guy doesn’t really like her.
      23. Final answer, not settling? Final answer, not settling.
      24. know your worth. You’re who God says you are, your worth is found in Him, not in their validation or your acquisitions.
      25. Sometimes, singleness feels like being stuck between looking at the time and looking at God. Not looking at God like looking onto Him for help and strength now, but looking at Him like, Lord, can you see the time sir?
      26. Don’t fret when anyone tells you “time is going”, the way I see it , you should rejoice and be glad because if time is going, that means it’s moving , not stuck and as it moves, it will get to your turn, so in actual sense, it just means your time is coming.
      27. Y’all, everyday of my life, I need Jesus and if I’m going to share my life with anyone, it has to be with someone who loves Jesus and will love me like Jesus.
      28. The God who sent His son, Jesus, to establish a relationship with you and save you from hell, won’t send you someone, who will put you through hell in a relationship, that’s how you’ll know.
      29. Hear ye me sis, “man no be man & no be just to marry o” – you can’t marry just anyone & you don’t just marry for the fun of it.
      30. “The most wonderful people don’t always marry first”? Oook, I think I’ve been wonderful enough, I’m done, can I marry now please?
      31. Life please don’t give me lemons, I don’t like lemonade. Got a man? I mean, mangoes, got some mangoes?

Thanks for reading, so which ones made you go hmmm or huh or hahaha?

PS: If you wanted an update on No.7 from the 29 things I shared about me here, this photo below says it all. 🙂