Encouragement For Singles

Matters Of The Heart

love-1792306__480It matters and it pays to make Jesus the heart of the matter in matters of the heart.

If you want to make a good headway,  choose to do things God’s way.

He cares about every facet of our lives, even matters of the heart.

Be encouraged.

*Image from pixabay.com


Encouragement For Singles · Everything Else

Great Chemistry And Other ‘Subjects’


So, you guys have great chemistry?

That’s a plus actually or should I say A+ 🙂 , but how are guys in other ‘subjects’?

Okay, before you give me the look like, “whatchu talkin’ about girl”?

Here’s what I mean;

English: How’s communication between you two?

Mathematics: Are you good at finding ways to resolve issues, when they arise?

Physics: Maintaining the “spark” is important, you know.

Economics: Money matters. Do you give, save, invest and spend wisely?

Government: Who’s your Lord? Who are you guys submitted to?

CRS: Do you guys study the word?

History: How well do you know each other?

Geography: How are you working towards where you are going to spend the rest of your lives (eternity)?


Social Studies: How do you guys relate to/with other people apart from yourselves?

Home Economics: Body management? Any odours, you know? Home management, general home keeping? (As individuals)

Do work hard on all subjects, you guys.

Your coming together may have been “magical” but staying together requires a little more.

All the best.

PS: I cannot categorically tell or ask you about Biology now… 🙂

*Image from pixabay.com

Encouragement For Everyone · Everything Else

My first 100 days in 2017

My first 100 days in 2017.jpg

You know how exciting new things can be? That’s how this new year was for me, I was very excited about it, I still am.  Though, I usually do not join the new year, new me train but I do set goals for myself, you know, plans et al.

One of the things I wrote down in my journal at the beginning of the year, was to be (more) intentional and in the first 100 days, I have not only intentionally messed up, things have also not gone as I intended.

So, the year had barely even started and I settled, just like that. I don’t mean settle into the new year, I mean settle for, wait for it… a ‘relationship’.  Wait, what?! You? The ‘#DontSettle crooner’?  Well, yes, me. Can I be transparent? I knew I was settling but I did anyway, you see that’s one funny thing about settling for less, we usually know, we are fully aware that this isn’t it, that we deserve more, we deserve better, yet, we choose to settle.

The year 2016 had more dates than I did (if I did) and that was fine, really, I mean I’m not a calendar or anything like that, so 2016, we’re cool, no beef.  Anyway, so I’m happy and proud of myself for making it through the year without settling even when I could, you know,  feeling like one ‘unsettler‘ and stepping into 2017 like, I’m ready, let’s do this, then here I was, settling, when I’m not dust (rolling my eyes at me) and I can categorically tell you that those few weeks were pretty miserable.  I’ll spare you the details but thankfully, my worth called me out, it called my name like thrice before I responded though but I did respond.  I was reminded by that experience that, the knowledge of your worth is your immunity to settling.

1st 100 days in 2017.jpg

Know your worth, don’t settle, if you ever do, I hope you hear and respond when it tries to call you out.

Not too long after that, I had to settle again, this time, my landlord. I had to settle him. My rent was due and my account balance had no clue, my rent money was far from complete. Phew! I was trying not to worry but I was under pressure. Where I wan for see the remaining money?  You may want to ask, ” what about your savings?” or something like that,  but I’m sorry, we ain’t taking questions today, so as I was saying, lol, my attempt to raise money from a few friends was futile, I prayed for a miracle, I needed one. Meanwhile, I had stopped eating three square meals o, I was now eating two, sometimes one and half and they weren’t exactly square, I was seriously economizing my resources.

Then one day, from nowhere, I got a call, hold your horses, it wasn’t the miracle call, lol, I got a call, from someone I knew I had no business talking to but I decided to play nice, perhaps maybe this is where the miracle will come from, I’m sure when I thought that, ‘They’ looked at me from heaven like, yea right. You know who ‘They’ are now? OK.

So I played nice, in other words, I took the call which I would have otherwise ignored, hoping that from there, maybe there will be more calls and then the miracle (as if you can strategize a miracle). For where? In fact, they haven’t called me again since that day, I even tried hey-big-heading them, but no response, the only explanation for that is, God was looking out for me.  God blocks, in His infinite mercy. He doesn’t only open doors, He closes doors too. Truly, He will wreck your plans, before they wreck you, till this day, no response, no call. God is good.

My first 100 days in 2017..jpg

I decided to stay put and stay hopeful, trusting God, worse comes to worst, I’ll go back to my mother’s house in Auchi, but God is faithful, Amen? He came through for me. One night, just before I went to bed after deciding to have sleep for dinner, I got a call, the miracle call… Praise God.

The year has gone from day 1 to 100 real quick and things for me, have gone from  100 to 1 even quicker. It’s been a pretty rough and tough first 100 days, emotionally, mentally, financially and at some point, spiritually. Not so much physically because I keep hearing that I’ve gained weight, now that’s a whole miracle on its own, I mean with my one and half ‘triangle’ meals a day? Lol. It’s only because of God that I don’t look like what I’ve been through.

Well, 100 days gone, the rest of the year to go, I’m not staying down, I’m not giving up, I’m “ forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead” (Philippians 3:13) and I think I’m begin to settle in alright.

How has your year been?

Be encouraged.


Encouragement For Singles

7Cs to help you deal with a heartbreak.

broken-heartedThe pain of a broken heart is real, period.

Whether you are the one that ended the relationship or not, its painful.

I’ve been there, a few times and girl oh girl…

There was this particularly, very painful one,  I couldn’t see past the pain at that time, I didn’t think I’d ever get over it, in fact I felt like dying but thank God, I pulled through and I believe you can too.

It hurts, I know but I also know that it can heal.

You saw a future with them and all of  a sudden, the relationship came to a full stop, of course, that hurts, but your life doesn’t have to end just because the relationship ended, it has happened, now you have to deal with it and these Cs can help you.

Cry: As much as you want, as much as you can, cry.  Alone in your room, doing the ugly cry, cry. In a bus, doing the pretty cry, cry.  It hurts and yes, you are strong but its OK to cry, its OK to mourn, you don’t have to deny what you are feeling, let it out.

Cut them off: This would have been the first C but chances are, as you cry, you are kind of hopeful that things will get sorted, but the good thing is, as you cry, you come to terms with what has happened, you accept it (hopefully) and that’s so important to your healing process and that’s why you need to cut them off, to help the process, block  ’em everywhere, resist the urge to text, call or stalk them, trust me, it’s for the best.

Console yourself: You’ve probably wallowed in your unhappiness for a while now, maybe you should give yourself a break, do something for yourself, to make you happy, take care of yourself. Need support from family and friends? Of course you do, reach out to them.

Careful who you talk to: You want to talk and listen to people who will help you come out better not leave you bitter, these people or this person will most likely be the one who tells you what to you need to hear not just what you want to hear.

Consider the matter: What lessons can you learn from this experience? Don’t forget to look at the role you played too, even if it was just being in the relationship at all.

Carry on: Yes, girl. At some point , you have to. You have your whole life ahead, this is not the end, it is in fact, a new beginning, so, go girl.

Call on God: I’m not trying to ‘spiritualize’ this, I’m just trying to stick with titles that begin with C (smiles). This comes last but its in no way least, because this goes with all others and at some point, you’ll stop crying and you’ll carry on (I believe)  but you’ll always, always, always need God. Call on Him, every and any time.

He’s close to the brokenhearted (Psalms 34:18), He’s the one, who will heal your heart,  He’s the one who will make this work out for your good,  He’s the one who says to forget the former things and see the new thing He is doing, you can give Him every broken piece and He’ll turn it into something beautiful. It may be hard but let Him help you. He is with you, you are not alone.

For more encouragement, you can also read this, Letting go and moving on.

So there, I hope this helps. Don’t worry, soon, you’ll be yourself again. This too shall pass.

Be encouraged.

*Image from pixabay.com, edited by me.*


Encouragement For Everyone · Encouragement For Singles

Look how she’s grown.


Look how she’s grown,

from the pain in which she  groaned,

the pain of you walking out,

from that pain, did lessons sprout,

lessons that fostered growth.

See her smile,

over what once brought her tears,

Oh, then she cried so much

to have you back,

in the face of fears

of being alone.

Oh, the pains.

But oh, the lessons.

Having you back now

will only take her back,

and she ain’t going that way.

Look how she’s grown,

from struggling to hold on tight,

to letting go without much struggle,

choosing to make room for lessons instead,

letting them dwell in pain’s stead,

she’s learned to travel light,

as she moves on.

Oh, look how she’s grown.

Encouragement For Everyone · Encouragement For Singles

Unexpected lessons 101

images6I got some extra sleep this morning. Yay!

It wasn’t business as usual. My office had planned a health fair and the venue we would be using, wasn’t too far from my place.

My office is quite a distance from where I live, so on a normal day,  I set out very early in order not to be late.

My body though, already accustomed to  getting up pretty early, needed to be held back in bed after my alarm rang.

When I finally got up and started getting ready, way later than usual, I kept feeling like I was late, I had to keep reminding myself that I wasn’t because I wasn’t.

Then I thought, when those people who usually see me going out early, see me this morning, they will probably think that I’m late.

Well, I said, still thinking to myself, they don’t know where I’m going, I know and I know that I’m not late.

Then it occurred to me, this relates to life, you know?

Sometimes, people think or say you are late because you haven’t done certain things or achieved certain things in the time that others may have done those things but they don’t know where you are going, they don’t know your life’s plan, they don’t know God’s plans for your life.

I hear when my neighbor drives out most mornings, usually that’s a sign that I’m running late and I begin to hurry but this morning while I was still forcing myself to get more sleep, I heard them but I simply ignored, we weren’t on the same schedule, its not even  like we are, on other days (I don’t know why I put myself under that pressure).

You can’t and shouldn’t compare yourself to anyone because you probably ain’t going the same way.

It’s not about anyone, what they say or what they think, it’s about you.

It’s your life and it’s in God’s hands.

So, focus on your lane.

Be encouraged.