No offence please, if you are reading this and your name is Susie or Tracy, but can you relate?
Susie’s successful, she seems to have everything I desire on a platter and we are age mates.
Tracy’s thriving, already doing things I thought I would have done by now and I knew her when she was practically a baby.
Scrolling through social media and going “oh, how nice” on a friend’s photo but deep down, feeling left out.
Why is mine taking time, why do I have to wait? Why can’t I have what she has? What on earth is wrong with me?
You (sometimes) wonder.
First of all, nothing is wrong with you, God just has a different plan for your life.
What you should not do is compare yourself with someone else, the bible says, it’s not a wise thing to do.
Not that we [have the audacity to] venture to class or [even to] compare ourselves with some who exalt and furnish testimonials for themselves! However, when they measure themselves with themselves and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding and behave unwisely. – 2 Corinthians 10:12
I can understand the tendency to expect certain things to happen in your life at a particular time or as it seems to happen for others but there’s something I’ve learnt over time, something called God’s plan. He has one for everyone.
The bible talks about us being formed in secret, that to me, buttresses the point that, there’s something unique about each of us. Each, wonderfully & fearfully made. (Psalms 139:14-15)
No matter how wonderful someone else’s life looks to you because of what they have, that you don’t or what they are doing, that you are not, your life isn’t any less wonderful.
If you are like me, you probably didn’t grow up knowing that God had a plan for your life, you grew up expecting things to follow the order of the system you met.
Many unmet expectations/unfulfilled-desires-in-your-timeline later, you are probably learning, as I am, that God has a plan for your life, one obviously different from the one you had or what you thought it should be, a plan that no one, not even you, can thwart because even if we grew up under conditions that were not quite in His plan for us, He has a way of leading us back to His plan – usually the hard way.
You are probably learning, as I recently read somewhere, “that sometimes we make our plans, and sometimes we surrender to plans”.
My plan was something like this – finish school, get a job/make lots of money, get married by latest 25 (lol, yea, I actually said latest 25, when it didn’t happen at 25, I moved the timeline to 28, lol), have 3 kids by 30-31 and just live happily ever after. Talk about being naive.
Now the thing is, I know some ladies whose plans also kinda looked like that and theirs seemed to have worked out for them but for me, 5 years after when I thought I’d be a wife, I’m not, instead I’m a writer, encouraging – you guessed it – single ladies like myself (and happily so). I’ve always loved writing but I certainly didn’t see this coming, now that’s just one of the many discoveries in what I’d call (if it was a movie), ‘So I thought I had a plan.’
Bottom line, God has a plan for your life, different from everyone else’s, different, most of the time, from the one you had for yourself.
What you should do is stop expecting your life to look or turn out like everybody else’s or look like the image society portrays, but rather trust and seek God for His plan for your life and embrace it because being in God’s plan, where He wants you to be, doing what He wants you to do, that’s the true measure of success, your being faithful where God has you, is what truly matters.
Being faithful means remaining loyal and steadfast, staying true to the facts or the original; stop comparing yourself with everybody else and be faithful to you, live your truth and be free.
Focus on being the best you, not trying to be like someone else or trying to be better than someone else.
It’s not about being ahead or behind, it’s about being faithful where God has you.
Know that, ‘yet to happen’ is not synonymous with ‘abandoned’.
Thus says the Lord, “I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” – Jeremiah 29:11
So, “delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart” (Psalms 37:4) but, the thing with delighting yourself in the Lord is, as you do, you begin to desire more and more what He wants for you not what you want for yourself, as you delight yourself in the Lord, you ultimately surrender to His plans and release the ones you had.
Now, that may mean that your life looks different from others but it also means that it looks just the way God wants it, and trust me girl, that’s what you want.
So, as Sharon Jaynes says, let go of comparison and take hold of your God fashioned uniqueness.
Love and live the life that God has given you, knowing that wherever He has you now, He’s grace is available and sufficient for you.
PS: You saw the part where I said, nothing is wrong you, yea?
*Image with the ladies from pixabay.com