Encouragement For Everyone · Encouragement For Singles

Susie’s Successful, Tracy’s Thriving, What’s Wrong With Me?

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No offence  please, if you are reading this and your name is Susie or Tracy, but can you relate?

Susie’s successful, she seems to have everything I desire on a platter and we are age mates.

Tracy’s thriving, already doing things I thought I would have done by now and I knew her when she was practically a baby.

Scrolling through social media and going “oh, how nice” on a friend’s photo but deep down, feeling left out.

Why is mine taking time, why do I have to wait? Why can’t I have what she has? What on earth is wrong with me?

You (sometimes) wonder.

First of all, nothing is wrong with you, God just has a different plan for your life.

What you should not do is compare yourself with someone else, the bible says, it’s not a wise thing to do.

 Not that we [have the audacity to] venture to class or [even to] compare ourselves with some who exalt and furnish testimonials for themselves! However, when they measure themselves with themselves and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding and behave unwisely. – 2 Corinthians 10:12

I can understand the tendency to expect certain things to happen in your life at a particular time or as it seems to happen for others but there’s something I’ve learnt over time, something called God’s plan. He has one for everyone.

The bible talks about us being formed in secret, that to me, buttresses the point that, there’s something unique about each of us. Each, wonderfully & fearfully made. (Psalms 139:14-15)

No matter how wonderful someone else’s life looks to you because of what they have, that you don’t or what they are doing, that you are not, your life isn’t any less wonderful.

If you are like me, you probably didn’t grow up knowing that God had a plan for your life, you grew up expecting things to follow the order of the system you met.

Many unmet expectations/unfulfilled-desires-in-your-timeline later,  you are probably learning, as I am, that God has a plan for your life, one obviously different from the one you had or what you thought it should be, a plan that no one, not even you, can thwart  because even if  we grew up under conditions that were not quite in His plan for us, He has a way of leading us back to His plan – usually the hard way.

You are probably learning, as I recently read somewhere, “that sometimes we make our plans, and sometimes we surrender to plans”.

My plan was something like this – finish school, get a job/make lots of money, get married by latest 25 (lol, yea, I actually said latest 25, when it didn’t happen at 25, I moved the timeline to 28, lol), have 3 kids by 30-31 and just live happily ever after. Talk about being naive.

Now the thing is, I know some ladies whose plans also kinda looked like that and theirs seemed to have worked out for them but for me, 5 years after when I thought I’d be a wife, I’m not, instead I’m a writer, encouraging – you guessed it – single ladies like myself (and happily so). I’ve always loved writing but I certainly didn’t see this coming, now that’s just one of the many discoveries in what I’d call (if it was a movie), ‘So I thought I had a plan.’


Bottom line, God has a plan for your life, different from everyone else’s, different, most of the time, from the one you had for yourself.

What you should do is stop expecting your life to look or turn out like everybody else’s or look like the image society portrays, but rather trust and seek God for His plan for your life and embrace it because being in God’s plan, where He wants you to be, doing what He wants you to do, that’s the true measure of success, your being faithful where God has you, is what truly matters.

Being faithful means remaining loyal and steadfast, staying true to the facts or the original; stop comparing yourself with everybody else and be faithful to you, live your truth and be free.

Focus on being the best you, not trying to be like someone else or trying to be better than someone else.

It’s not about being ahead or behind, it’s about being faithful where God has you.

Know that,  ‘yet to happen’ is not synonymous with ‘abandoned’.

Thus says the Lord, “I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” – Jeremiah 29:11

So, “delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart” (Psalms 37:4) but, the thing with delighting yourself in the Lord is, as you do, you begin to desire more and more what He wants for you not what you want for yourself, as you delight yourself in the Lord, you ultimately surrender to His plans and release the ones you had.

Now, that may mean that your life looks different from others but it also means that it looks just the way God wants it, and trust me girl, that’s what you want.

So, as Sharon Jaynes says, let go of comparison and take hold of your God fashioned uniqueness.

Love and live the life that God has given you, knowing that wherever He has you now, He’s grace is available and sufficient for you.

PS: You saw the part where I said, nothing is wrong you, yea?

Be encouraged.

*Image with the ladies from pixabay.com


Encouragement For Singles

Dear Single Sister: Rock Your Lane Girl

Lane Of Singleness-Rock Your Lane

Three times I called upon the Lord and besought [Him] about this and begged that it might depart from me; But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you…” – 2 Corinthians 12:8-9 AMPC

That was Apostle Paul, talking to God about the thorn in His flesh, but can you relate?

How many times have you prayed to God about your singleness?

About how much longer you have to wait for a spouse?

About why you are the only one still single of all your friends?

About how you are not getting any younger?

How many times have you begged God to take you out of the single season already?

I’m guessing more than three times?

I can’t tell you why He hasn’t answered as you would have liked, but if God still has you in the lane of singleness, then trust that His grace is available and sufficient for you to run therein.

His grace – favor, loving kindness and mercy – is available and enough for you.

So, …don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life…” -1 Corinthians 7:17 MSG (emphasis added)

I love how it says, live… right there, because some of us are waiting… to start living our lives, but as I would say;

You don’t need to have a life partner to live or enjoy your life, you just need to partner with the Life – Jesus.

Maybe you should go from, “why am I still single” to “what can I do while I’m still single?”

Maybe you should go from, “of what use is it being single”, to “Lord, how can I serve you in my singleness, use me in this season, Lord.”

Maybe you should go from being miserable in your singleness to ministering in your singleness, blessing lives, letting your light shine, to the glory of your Father in heaven.

Maybe you should begin to rock your lane, sis.

Wherever God (currently) has you, He’s able to make all grace abound towards you… He’s with you, He’s got you.

Surely, the bible says, His goodness, mercy and unfailing love follows us all the days of our lives… (Psalms 23:6), all the days – good days, bad days, great days, single days, hard-being-single days, love-being-single days, married days – all. the. days. of. our. lives. girl, His goodness, mercy and unfailing love, follows us. How great is that?!

He’s not less good to you or less merciful because you are single, nor does He love you any less than the sister who is married.

You know that, right?

So, being confident of this, be brave, courageous, wait patiently for the Lord and ROCK the lane He has you in, girl.

Be encouraged.

PS: For the purpose of this post, my definition of ‘rock’ is;

Relying on God’s grace, goodness and His strength,

Own your lane

Confidently, comparing not, but minding yours,

Keep going, looking only to Jesus, trusting Him.

How would you define rocking your lane? Do share in the comments. Thank you.

Encouragement For Singles

#WIFE: Some Encouragement For Valentine’s Day

Valentine encouragement

Does it feel like you are standing outside Noah’s ark today, everyone’s paired up but you?

Is the red everywhere making you blue?

You’d rather not be having alone time on valentine?

Yes, Valentine’s not just for lovers, it’s a day to also show love to others but after all said and done, you still wish you had a significant other?

Feeling left out? Lonely? Frustrated?

Beloved, can I encourage you?

The bible says, “and after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace [Who imparts all blessing and favor], Who has called you to His [own] eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will Himself complete and make you what you ought to be, establish and ground you securely, and strengthen, and settle you.” – 1 Peter 5:10 AMPC

Now, I’m not saying you are suffering because you don’t have a sweetheart on Valentine’s day but I know it’s hard, it can be painful and it’s not always enjoyable.

So, here’s some encouragement drawn from the bible passage quoted above;

  • The ‘suffering’ won’t last forever. You won’t always be alone on Valentine’s day. Just because it hasn’t happened yet, doesn’t mean it won’t happen.
  • You want to trust and rest in God rather than being desperate because all blessings and favor, including the blessing of a spouse, comes from Him.
  • Just because things are not going as you expected doesn’t mean God has abandoned you. He’s with you, working as you wait.
  • God has plans to settle you, don’t let ‘suffering’ make you settle for less than God has planned for you. It may be hard but it’s best to wait on God.

A few more things (not from the bible passage quoted);

  • However you choose to spend today, remember that you are loved. God loves you so much, it may sound cliché but He really does, like cwwwaaaaazzzieee!
  • You are not less than, you are not left out or missing out (not if you are where God has you at this time).
  • Don’t compare yourself with anyone else.
  • It’s okay if you decide to lay off social media today.
  • It’s better to be alone, being prepared for what you ought to have, than to have what you ought not, in order to not be alone.
  • It’s not a bad idea to do something nice for someone today, it could bring you some cheer.

One more thing;

You know we love you here, right?

We do! ❤

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Be encouraged.

Encouragement For Singles

It’s Okay To Not Like Being Single


It’s okay to have days you are not particularly excited about being single or you struggle with being content in it as you could do with some companionship.

There are days like that, life has its ups and downs and the single life is no exception.

Just please, always remember that in those moments of weakness, God’s grace is available and sufficient, always.

To be joyful in singleness doesn’t necessarily mean you (have to) like being single, it simply means you choose to trust God anyway.

That’s what changes everything, especially your perspective.

It’s written;

“But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.” – Jeremiah 17:7-8

Trusting God, relying and depending on Him, is where the joy comes from, because you know, your God is a Father who’s tender and compassionate towards you,  who has only good plans for you, thinks only goods thoughts of you, has your best interest at heart, greater than you could ever dream and only wants to fill your life with good things.

You may not like this season He has you in, you may not understand how you are 30 going on 31 and you are not even dating anyone, when you thought you’d have 3 kids by now, you may not understand why all your friends are married and have had their 3 kids and you are still livin’ la Vida sola, you may not understand how every one else’s husband has been able to find them but it seems yours is having some difficulties finding his way.

You may not understand it all, perhaps that’s why God says, to trust in Him with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, stop trying to figure it out, just trust Him.

You can trust Him because He is so, so faithful.

You know that, morning came today because a long long time ago, God said that’s how it should be, right?

A long time ago. In the beginning, according to the bible. How long ago was that?

Yet, it has stayed that way, because He said so. Wow!

He is the same One whose word says that, “weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning”.

So, let every morning be a reminder of God’s faithfulness, a reminder that He keeps His word, He watches over it to perform it, a reminder that if this morning came, then the morning, when your joy will come, will also come, because God has said it.

All I’m trying to say is that, you can trust God.

He. Is. Faithful.

His plans and purpose for you, none can thwart and girl, those plans are good.

Yep, the bible says so, see below;

 “I know that You can do all things, and that no thought or purpose of Yours can be restrained or thwarted.” – Job 42:2

“I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” – Jeremiah 29:11

Let this be your joy, in times when you don’t like being single, trust that it’s working altogether for good, your good.

It’s okay to have a Father-please-remove-this-cup-from-me moment, but I pray you always get to the nevertheless-not-my-will-but-Yours point and keep going.

You’ll be fine girl, we will be fine.

Be encouraged.


Encouragement For Singles

S-I-N-G-L-E (here’s what it means to me)


This is just one of many things that being single means (as least to me) as opposed to what’s assumed or believed by most.

Read up more on what being single doesn’t mean here and help me add to the list by sharing your thoughts in the comments section. Thanks girl.

Hope you are having a great day?



Encouragement For Everyone · Encouragement For Singles

#WIFE: 2017 Didn’t Go As Planned?

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Hey guys,

Happy New Year.

2018, exciting right?  Or not so much? Perhaps, because 2017 didn’t go quite as you thought it would, didn’t end on a good note? Tell me about it.

Barely a week to the end of 2017, I had an accident that left me with a broken forehead and serious pains. You’ve got to be kidding me, this is not how I planned to end the year, just laying there, not able to move around, ‘popping pills’, hurting, crying, cranky, emotional…

But hey, it could have been worse. I was whining about how I was ending the year when I should have been thankful that I was ending the year regardless, I mean.

2018 God can

(That’s me. The photo on the left was few days after the accident, I was getting better, I don’t want to show you anything gory 🙂 and the photo on the right is me doing much more better).

Jan. 1st was the last thing on my mind when I was in pains and my face was covered in blood on Dec. 22nd, but truly, “this too shall pass”. I’m here today, with scars, ‘bald’ and all, healing, stronger, in way less pain and I’m again reminded that God delivers, He heals, He cares, He’s there. Not just there but right in there with you, in whatever you are going through,  He’s the one who takes us through, opening doors, making ways, sending help, showing mercy, giving favour, strengthening us, encouraging us… It’s all Him. Such a good God.

He says, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned or scorched, nor will the flame kindle upon you.” – Isaiah 43:2

So dear reader, 2017 may not have ended the way you wanted it to but you are still here.

You may say, so what? It’s yet another year, I’m still here but I’m not quite ‘there’ yet.

Well, hang in there. Let the new year renew your hope and trust in God, who makes new and is able to take you ‘there’.

I don’t belong to the “new year, new me” school of thought (I’m sorry if that’s yours, maybe we’ll talk about it later), I encourage you rather, to continue to press on.

“Not that I have now attained [this ideal], or have already been made perfect, but I press on to lay hold of (grasp) and make my own, that for which Christ Jesus (the Messiah) has laid hold of me and made me His own.” – Philippians 3:12

If you are not in Christ, as in, haven’t accepted Him as your Lord and Saviour, then you definitely need to do so to become new, but if you are, then please continue in Him.

Continue to love God, walk with Him, trust Him, wait on Him, to grow, to love and live to fullest, the life He has given you (regardless of what it looks like now).

Continue in Him.

May we attain new heights in our walk with God this year and as we seek Him, may our lives continually be filled with the joy, peace and pleasures in His presence.

Happy 2018.

Be encouraged.