Encouragement For Singles

9 Bad Reasons To Get Married

Bad Reasons To Get Married Post

I know you (really) want to get married, you and me both girl, you and me both but for some reason it just hasn’t happened yet and it’s not like you can just go grab you a husband from a store or log in somewhere and order, expecting a delivery within 7 days, at least then, you’d have an answer for the when-questions.

Sometimes, all we can do, (usually after we’ve done everything else), is to trust God and wait on Him.

I also know that there are a lot of people who want you to get married, so much so, that it’s like they can’t wait for your waiting on God, they don’t get it, they keep giving you the you-should-be-married-by-now look. Perhaps, there are even times when you are tempted to go the lay-with-Hagar route, you know, take matters into your hands, just marry anybody already, can I get a witness?

I know there’s the pressure, the questions, the set ups from those in the there’s-this-guy-I-know department, the advices (mostly unsolicited), the expectations, the aunties ( I believe single ladies have more aunties than anyone else, don’t you agree?), the reminders- from social media and almost everywhere you turn, everyone but you seems paired up, it’s like Noah’s ark out there and it’s understandably, easy to feel left out and perhaps, want to get married at all costs, but making a decision (as important as who to marry) under that condition, can cost you.

No matter how much the pressure may be, always consider it too expensive, you can’t afford to get married for the wrong reasons.

Marriage is a blessing from God (as is singleness). To be married is good and desirable but these 9 reasons below are not great reasons to (want to) get married;

  • Everyone Else Is / All Your Friends Have

God has unique plans for each of our lives, no man’s life is the template for another and we all soon come to learn that there isn’t a one for all timetable for things to happen in our lives. Besides, scripture encourages us not to compare ourselves with others. Stop looking at the time it happened for someone else as an expiration date for it happening for you, because it. is. not.

  • You Feel You’re Running Out Of Time 

Well, not as long as you are walking with God. Remember Abraham? Girl, your Father, God, is in charge. It’s not over until He says so. Better to seem to be running out of time, than it not happening at the right time, as Lysa TerKeurst rightly says, “God loves us too much to answer our prayers at any other time than the right time”. Picture this, a fruit you really like, for example. Have you ever had it when it was unripe? I bet it’s sweeter, better and more enjoyable when it’s ripe, yea? Now, was it a fruit when it was unripe? Yes, but was it ready to be eaten? No, and what did it take for it to be ready? Time. See? Things are sweeter, better, and more enjoyable at the right time.  Trust God. All things are working together for your good.

  • You Think You’re Old Enough

Marriage requires maturity, old enough doesn’t necessarily mean grown enough, to thyself be true.

  • You Are Tired Of Being Single

Don’t do it because you are tired, do it because you are ready, and don’t just say you are ready because you are tired either.

Stop thinking you can only earn joy when you get to where you want to be, learn to enjoy where you are, where God has you.

  • You Think You May Not Get Another Chance

If you are unsettled about them, please don’t settle with them and trust me, as long as you are doing it God’s way, better’s never behind, but just ahead. “It’s better to be on the shelf than in the wrong cupboard.”

  • You Don’t Want To Be Left Out

Darling, you were secretly, uniquely, fearfully and wonderfully made. Your life doesn’t have to look like everyone else for to it be considered beautiful and successful, it doesn’t have to look like everyone else for it to be what God wants it to be and there’s nothing quite as beautiful and truly successful as being where God wants you be. You are not being left out, you are wanting their life when you should be living yours. No matter how wonderful you think someone else life is, your life isn’t any less wonderful.

  • To Prove A Point

Okay so, after you rush into a marriage you know is clearly wrong for you, just to prove that nothing is wrong with you, what happens?

  • To Get It Checked Off Your Life’s To-do List

If you are in a rush to get married, you could end up making a rash decision that could result in harsh consequences.

  • You’ re Done With School And That’s Naturally ‘Societal-ly’ The Next Thing To Do

Well, it doesn’t have to be like that. Don’t put yourself under unnecessary pressure, remember what we said about pressure earlier, it’s too expensive…

There, so let’s talk. Did any resonate, do you agree with 9 of them, what would you add (or not)? Please share your thoughts in the comments below, thank you.

I pray that God will help us to seek His will in all our ways and help us to trust Him to direct us, in Jesus’ name, amen.

Image credit: Pexels.com

 

 

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Encouragement For Everyone · Encouragement For Singles · Everything Else

31 Random Thoughts As I Turn 31

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Hi there,

Birthday girl here.

It’s my birthday and to celebrate here, I’m sharing some thoughts that’ll probably make you go hmmm, huh or perhaps, hahaha…

Here we go;

      1. God is good, His plans are better, He knows best. Trust Him.
      2. God’s going to do what He’s going to do, no one or thing can thwart His plans and purpose.
      3. You can totally trust God, He loves you and He’s got your best interest at heart.
      4. Yes, God loves you but He also wants you to grow up.
      5. You can’t have a godly relationship without having a relationship with God.
      6. Relationships don’t make you happy, happy people make happy relationships.
      7. “The one” is human just like you.
      8. You want to submit to a man who submits to God.
      9. God heals the brokenhearted. Yes, broken hearts heal, mine did.
      10. If life had a remote control, I bet singleness won’t be its pause button.
      11. You don’t have to have a life partner to enjoy your life, you just need to partner with “The Life”.
      12. It matters to make Jesus the heart of the matter in matters of the heart.
      13. Your mistakes do not define you, don’t let them confine you.
      14. To thyself be loving.
      15. Waiting on God is never a waste of time.
      16. It’s okay if your life looks different from other people, even if they are the same sex or the same age as you, know that no matter how wonderful someone’s life looks to you because of what they have that you don’t or what they are doing that you’re not, your life isn’t any less wonderful.
      17. You don’t have to have it all figured out, you couldn’t if you tried but what you can do and should do, is trust God, He has it all figured out.
      18. Rest but don’t quit.
      19. Cast, not carry. Cast your cares.
      20. Lose control to God.
      21. I’ll never understand people who argue with me that I’m not single. I say I’m single, you say I’m not, is it your single?
      22. Two things are hard for a girl; Letting shoes that don’t fit go and listening to herself when she can tell a guy doesn’t really like her.
      23. Final answer, not settling? Final answer, not settling.
      24. know your worth. You’re who God says you are, your worth is found in Him, not in their validation or your acquisitions.
      25. Sometimes, singleness feels like being stuck between looking at the time and looking at God. Not looking at God like looking onto Him for help and strength now, but looking at Him like, Lord, can you see the time sir?
      26. Don’t fret when anyone tells you “time is going”, the way I see it , you should rejoice and be glad because if time is going, that means it’s moving , not stuck and as it moves, it will get to your turn, so in actual sense, it just means your time is coming.
      27. Y’all, everyday of my life, I need Jesus and if I’m going to share my life with anyone, it has to be with someone who loves Jesus and will love me like Jesus.
      28. The God who sent His son, Jesus, to establish a relationship with you and save you from hell, won’t send you someone, who will put you through hell in a relationship, that’s how you’ll know.
      29. Hear ye me sis, “man no be man & no be just to marry o” – you can’t marry just anyone & you don’t just marry for the fun of it.
      30. “The most wonderful people don’t always marry first”? Oook, I think I’ve been wonderful enough, I’m done, can I marry now please?
      31. Life please don’t give me lemons, I don’t like lemonade. Got a man? I mean, mangoes, got some mangoes?

Thanks for reading, so which ones made you go hmmm or huh or hahaha?

PS: If you wanted an update on No.7 from the 29 things I shared about me here, this photo below says it all. 🙂  

NoNewsOnMyLoveLife

 

Encouragement For Singles

His Leaving Shouldn’t Stop Your Living

HeartBroken

Dear brokenhearted girl,

I know it hurts, no doubt, but I also know it can heal.

God heals, He restores.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds [curing their pains and their sorrows]. – Psalms 147:3

The relationship ended not your life.

You will be fine, soon you’ll be yourself again.

Please don’t see this like it’s gotten the best of you, see it like it’s for the best.

It’s okay to ‘mourn’ but like God asked Samuel in 1 Samuel 16:1, for how long, girl?

The Lord said to Samuel, How long will you mourn for Saul, seeing I have rejected him from reigning over Israel? Fill your horn with oil; I will send you to Jesse the Bethlehemite. For I have provided for Myself a king among his sons. – 1 Samuel 16:1

Maybe it’s time for you to ‘fill your horn with oil and get going’, you know, get on with business, get back to living?

Maybe it’s time, girl.

His leaving shouldn’t stop your living.

He was just a part of your story, not the whole of it nor the end of it.

Time to turn the page.

Be encouraged.

Encouragement For Singles · Everything Else

Great Chemistry And Other ‘Subjects’

chemistry

So, you guys have great chemistry?

That’s a plus actually or should I say A+ 🙂 , but how are guys in other ‘subjects’?

Okay, before you give me the look like, “whatchu talkin’ about girl”?

Here’s what I mean;

English: How’s communication between you two?

Mathematics: Are you good at finding ways to resolve issues, when they arise?

Physics: Maintaining the “spark” is important, you know.

Economics: Money matters. Do you give, save, invest and spend wisely?

Government: Who’s your Lord? Who are you guys submitted to?

CRS: Do you guys study the word?

History: How well do you know each other?

Geography: How are you working towards where you are going to spend the rest of your lives (eternity)?

*******

Social Studies: How do you guys relate to/with other people apart from yourselves?

Home Economics: Body management? Any odours, you know? Home management, general home keeping? (As individuals)

Do work hard on all subjects, you guys.

Your coming together may have been “magical” but staying together requires a little more.

All the best.

PS: I cannot categorically tell or ask you about Biology now… 🙂

*Image from pixabay.com

Encouragement For Singles

#WIFE: Go For A Man Who’s Submitted To God

Submit.jpg

Daughter of God, go for a man who’s submitted to your Father, yea, you are totally allowed to be a daddy’s girl about this and He’s going to be so proud of you because that’s what He wants for you ( II Corinthians 6:14).

And oh, the perks!

A man who is submitted to God practically allows himself to be led by the Spirit of God, he chooses to live and do things God’s way and the fruit of Spirit will definitely not fall far from him.

“… the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness, gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence)…” Galatians 5:22-23 (AMPC)

See how the message version puts it;

“But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.”

Wow!  Affection, compassion, commitment… Wouldn’t you just love a man who consistently displays these?

A man who loves and is submitted to Jesus, has a fine, no scratch that, has the finest example on how to love you and you will enjoy the effects of his relationship with God, trust me girl, you want this kind of man, this is the kind of man you want to submit to.

If you’ve got one, appreciate him and keep growing in the Lord together.

If you haven’t got one yet, wait on God for him, trust me, it will be worth the wait, for “God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks.” (Lamentations 3:25)

Be encouraged.

Happy Wednesday.

 

Encouragement For Singles

When It Was You Not Him

When it was you not him.jpg

He doesn’t always make all the mistakes, we all make mistakes, she makes some too.

Popular opinion is usually that it’s him, not you but sometimes sis, it’s us, we know, just keeping it real here.

Well, look who’s not getting all defensive, you grown girl! High five!

Okay, so the relationship went under and you realize the part you played, though you did your best to work things out, for some reasons ‘things’ did not cooperate with you and the relationship ended anyway.  What to do? What to know?

LET IT GO; You tried, you really tried (I know, been there, done that, ain’t got a t-shirt though) you apologized, tried to make amends but they made their choice, it’s okay, don’t hold it against them. Look at it this way, do you really want someone who doesn’t want you (anymore)? You don’t want to be fighting for the relationship alone, they should at least meet you half way or quarter way or less (since it was you not him), you don’t want to be in a relationship where it  feels like someone is doing you a favor by staying with you, so let it go and move on, there’s someone out there who will obtain favor just by finding you.

Yes.

YOU ARE STILL WORTH IT; Your mistakes do not  define you, don’t let them confine you. You are not worthless because you made a mess, it’s what you did, not who you are, “for a righteous man (woman) falls seven times & rises again…” (Proverbs 24:16) (Parenthesis added by me) What happened? He fell. Who fell? A righteous man.  He wasn’t described as a fallen man because he fell. You see?

So?

FORGIVE YOURSELF.

And?

RISE AGAIN, BEGIN AGAIN;  God’s grace is  available to help us change for the better, so begin again, stronger, wiser, more mature, equipped with lessons to do better next time.

Oh yes.

THERE WILL BE A NEXT TIME;  “ Behold, I will do a new thing…” (Isaiah 49:19) Perhaps, you went through all of that to prepare you to for it, the new thing, so don’t fret,  God’s got you, trust Him, love yourself, live your life and don’t settle, when it’s time, the Lord will make it happen.

Be encouraged.

*Image from pixabay.com*