Encouragement For Singles

When It Was You Not Him

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He doesn’t always make all the mistakes, we all make mistakes, she makes some too.

Popular opinion is usually that it’s him, not you but sometimes sis, it’s us, we know, just keeping it real here.

Well, look who’s not getting all defensive, you grown girl! High five!

Okay, so the relationship went under and you realize the part you played, though you did your best to work things out, for some reasons ‘things’ did not cooperate with you and the relationship ended anyway.  What to do? What to know?

LET IT GO; You tried, you really tried (I know, been there, done that, ain’t got a t-shirt though) you apologized, tried to make amends but they made their choice, it’s okay, don’t hold it against them. Look at it this way, do you really want someone who doesn’t want you (anymore)? You don’t want to be fighting for the relationship alone, they should at least meet you half way or quarter way or less (since it was you not him), you don’t want to be in a relationship where it  feels like someone is doing you a favor by staying with you, so let it go and move on, there’s someone out there who will obtain favor just by finding you.

Yes.

YOU ARE STILL WORTH IT; Your mistakes do not  define you, don’t let them confine you. You are not worthless because you made a mess, it’s what you did, not who you are, “for a righteous man (woman) falls seven times & rises again…” (Proverbs 24:16) (Parenthesis added by me) What happened? He fell. Who fell? A righteous man.  He wasn’t described as a fallen man because he fell. You see?

So?

FORGIVE YOURSELF.

And?

RISE AGAIN, BEGIN AGAIN;  God’s grace is  available to help us change for the better, so begin again, stronger, wiser, more mature, equipped with lessons to do better next time.

Oh yes.

THERE WILL BE A NEXT TIME;  “ Behold, I will do a new thing…” (Isaiah 49:19) Perhaps, you went through all of that to prepare you to for it, the new thing, so don’t fret,  God’s got you, trust Him, love yourself, live your life and don’t settle, when it’s time, the Lord will make it happen.

Be encouraged.

*Image from pixabay.com*

 

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Encouragement For Singles

7Cs to help you deal with a heartbreak.

broken-heartedThe pain of a broken heart is real, period.

Whether you are the one that ended the relationship or not, its painful.

I’ve been there, a few times and girl oh girl…

There was this particularly, very painful one,  I couldn’t see past the pain at that time, I didn’t think I’d ever get over it, in fact I felt like dying but thank God, I pulled through and I believe you can too.

It hurts, I know but I also know that it can heal.

You saw a future with them and all of  a sudden, the relationship came to a full stop, of course, that hurts, but your life doesn’t have to end just because the relationship ended, it has happened, now you have to deal with it and these Cs can help you.

Cry: As much as you want, as much as you can, cry.  Alone in your room, doing the ugly cry, cry. In a bus, doing the pretty cry, cry.  It hurts and yes, you are strong but its OK to cry, its OK to mourn, you don’t have to deny what you are feeling, let it out.

Cut them off: This would have been the first C but chances are, as you cry, you are kind of hopeful that things will get sorted, but the good thing is, as you cry, you come to terms with what has happened, you accept it (hopefully) and that’s so important to your healing process and that’s why you need to cut them off, to help the process, block  ’em everywhere, resist the urge to text, call or stalk them, trust me, it’s for the best.

Console yourself: You’ve probably wallowed in your unhappiness for a while now, maybe you should give yourself a break, do something for yourself, to make you happy, take care of yourself. Need support from family and friends? Of course you do, reach out to them.

Careful who you talk to: You want to talk and listen to people who will help you come out better not leave you bitter, these people or this person will most likely be the one who tells you what to you need to hear not just what you want to hear.

Consider the matter: What lessons can you learn from this experience? Don’t forget to look at the role you played too, even if it was just being in the relationship at all.

Carry on: Yes, girl. At some point , you have to. You have your whole life ahead, this is not the end, it is in fact, a new beginning, so, go girl.

Call on God: I’m not trying to ‘spiritualize’ this, I’m just trying to stick with titles that begin with C (smiles). This comes last but its in no way least, because this goes with all others and at some point, you’ll stop crying and you’ll carry on (I believe)  but you’ll always, always, always need God. Call on Him, every and any time.

He’s close to the brokenhearted (Psalms 34:18), He’s the one, who will heal your heart,  He’s the one who will make this work out for your good,  He’s the one who says to forget the former things and see the new thing He is doing, you can give Him every broken piece and He’ll turn it into something beautiful. It may be hard but let Him help you. He is with you, you are not alone.

For more encouragement, you can also read this, Letting go and moving on.

So there, I hope this helps. Don’t worry, soon, you’ll be yourself again. This too shall pass.

Be encouraged.

*Image from pixabay.com, edited by me.*

 

Encouragement For Everyone · Encouragement For Singles

Look how she’s grown.

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Look how she’s grown,

from the pain in which she  groaned,

the pain of you walking out,

from that pain, did lessons sprout,

lessons that fostered growth.

See her smile,

over what once brought her tears,

Oh, then she cried so much

to have you back,

in the face of fears

of being alone.

Oh, the pains.

But oh, the lessons.

Having you back now

will only take her back,

and she ain’t going that way.

Look how she’s grown,

from struggling to hold on tight,

to letting go without much struggle,

choosing to make room for lessons instead,

letting them dwell in pain’s stead,

she’s learned to travel light,

as she moves on.

Oh, look how she’s grown.

Encouragement For Everyone

We all make mistakes.

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Tiny, silly, huge… We. All. Make. Mistakes.

Here’s the thing, yes, you made a mistake but you are not a mistake neither are you, your mistake.

God loves you. He offers you forgiveness and wants you to repent and receive it.

You may say, Oh no, you have no idea what I have done, I don’t think God wants to have anything to do with me or someone may have written you off, given up on you because of a mistake you made.

Well, thankfully, there’s hope for our ‘oops’.  God is able to redeem and restore regardless  of what people think, say or do.

See what bible says in Isaiah 55:7-8 (AMP);
Let the wicked leave (behind) his way
And the unrighteous man his thoughts;
And let him return to the Lord,
And He will have compassion (mercy) on him,
And to our God,
For He will abundantly pardon.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord.

See?  So, whose report will you believe?

Stop being too hard on yourself, instead;

Accept that you MISSED it and TAKE responsibility for it.

Repent before God and receive His forgiveness, you know God forgives and forgets, right? So, don’t let guilt hold you down. Forgive yourself as well.

Find the lessons in your mistake and move on with them. Do better. Keep growing.

Walk with God to stay on track, you may still slip but He’s got you.

Believe the best regardless. All things work together for our good and as I often say, you may have blown it a few times  but God can still blow your mind.

Choose to believe God’s report  when people bring up your mistake.

“Do not remember the former things, or ponder the things of the past. Listen carefully, I am about to do a new thing…”, God says.

Be encouraged.