You know how exciting new things can be? That’s how this new year was for me, I was very excited about it, I still am. Though, I usually do not join the new year, new me train but I do set goals for myself, you know, plans et al.
One of the things I wrote down in my journal at the beginning of the year, was to be (more) intentional and in the first 100 days, I have not only intentionally messed up, things have also not gone as I intended.
So, the year had barely even started and I settled, just like that. I don’t mean settle into the new year, I mean settle for, wait for it… a ‘relationship’. Wait, what?! You? The ‘#DontSettle crooner’? Well, yes, me. Can I be transparent? I knew I was settling but I did anyway, you see that’s one funny thing about settling for less, we usually know, we are fully aware that this isn’t it, that we deserve more, we deserve better, yet, we choose to settle.
The year 2016 had more dates than I did (if I did) and that was fine, really, I mean I’m not a calendar or anything like that, so 2016, we’re cool, no beef. Anyway, so I’m happy and proud of myself for making it through the year without settling even when I could, you know, feeling like one ‘unsettler‘ and stepping into 2017 like, I’m ready, let’s do this, then here I was, settling, when I’m not dust (rolling my eyes at me) and I can categorically tell you that those few weeks were pretty miserable. I’ll spare you the details but thankfully, my worth called me out, it called my name like thrice before I responded though but I did respond. I was reminded by that experience that, the knowledge of your worth is your immunity to settling.
Know your worth, don’t settle, if you ever do, I hope you hear and respond when it tries to call you out.
Not too long after that, I had to settle again, this time, my landlord. I had to settle him. My rent was due and my account balance had no clue, my rent money was far from complete. Phew! I was trying not to worry but I was under pressure. Where I wan for see the remaining money? You may want to ask, ” what about your savings?” or something like that, but I’m sorry, we ain’t taking questions today, so as I was saying, lol, my attempt to raise money from a few friends was futile, I prayed for a miracle, I needed one. Meanwhile, I had stopped eating three square meals o, I was now eating two, sometimes one and half and they weren’t exactly square, I was seriously economizing my resources.
Then one day, from nowhere, I got a call, hold your horses, it wasn’t the miracle call, lol, I got a call, from someone I knew I had no business talking to but I decided to play nice, perhaps maybe this is where the miracle will come from, I’m sure when I thought that, ‘They’ looked at me from heaven like, yea right. You know who ‘They’ are now? OK.
So I played nice, in other words, I took the call which I would have otherwise ignored, hoping that from there, maybe there will be more calls and then the miracle (as if you can strategize a miracle). For where? In fact, they haven’t called me again since that day, I even tried hey-big-heading them, but no response, the only explanation for that is, God was looking out for me. God blocks, in His infinite mercy. He doesn’t only open doors, He closes doors too. Truly, He will wreck your plans, before they wreck you, till this day, no response, no call. God is good.
I decided to stay put and stay hopeful, trusting God, worse comes to worst, I’ll go back to my mother’s house in Auchi, but God is faithful, Amen? He came through for me. One night, just before I went to bed after deciding to have sleep for dinner, I got a call, the miracle call… Praise God.
The year has gone from day 1 to 100 real quick and things for me, have gone from 100 to 1 even quicker. It’s been a pretty rough and tough first 100 days, emotionally, mentally, financially and at some point, spiritually. Not so much physically because I keep hearing that I’ve gained weight, now that’s a whole miracle on its own, I mean with my one and half ‘triangle’ meals a day? Lol. It’s only because of God that I don’t look like what I’ve been through.
Well, 100 days gone, the rest of the year to go, I’m not staying down, I’m not giving up, I’m “ forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead” (Philippians 3:13) and I think I’m begin to settle in alright.
How has your year been?